What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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