I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
