Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
