tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
