So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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