My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
