Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
