You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize