She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
