I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
