i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
