My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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