i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
