dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
