is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
