I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
