The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize