I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
