Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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