i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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