but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize