Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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