On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
