You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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