Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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