I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
