3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
