Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
