Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
