if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
