What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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