We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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