I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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