When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just found puke in my bra..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
