Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize