Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
