i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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