Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
