Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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