In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
