I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
