Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
