i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
