Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The air was thick with penises
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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