she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
