so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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