it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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