Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
