R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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