then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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