She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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