My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
