yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
