Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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