I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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