Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
