Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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