Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
