Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
