I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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