there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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