glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize